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Monday, March 26, 2012

A Date with Dentist !

Dentists. It always brings back memories of pain and suffering. There are sounds of whizzing drills and moans of pain from patients in obvious agony. Mundane elevator music formed the accompaniment for a scene reminiscent of a horror film. But It was in Marathi with Bacardi music in background.”Kirpya darwaja band kara” That’s what I understood.

A bib was placed under my chin and I assumed it was intended to keep blood from ruining my clothes. She began to don all kinds of protective gear. Her hair was totally covered and she wore a mask and a complete face shield. She put on rubber gloves and seemed to be ready to begin. I tried to figure out if she was protecting herself or me. Perhaps she had some horrible disease that she didn't want me to catch. But I didn't think it was fair for her to be equipped as though she was going into space and all I had was a paper bib.” Come on I said I am not a rapist let me see your face”. But that was my heart that spoke."I'm not hurting you am I?" she mumbled from behind the face mask. Both of her hands were in my mouth so how did she expect me to answer? Why don't dentists work out some hand signals for the patient to use to respond? Like one finger for 'yes', two fingers for 'no' and the middle finger reserved for 'you are damned right you're hurting me'. And again she said open wide …wider..Wider. Do you really want to sit inside my mouth and have a water slide I thought.

After scraping and chiseling to remove the tartar buildup I was told to sit up to rinse. Getting up from the prone position in the chair is not an easy task.You get up and suddenly the bib and the cloth falls down which the helper picks up giving you a “*uck look”.Anyways , I was still looking at my socks which were stinking like I threw up after having vodka+pizza+beer+rum+French fries.I sheepishly smiled."I am going to brush your teeth to make them shining-white and today we are featuring grape-flavored paste." "Oh no," I thought. "I hate the flavor of grape." But I love Wine , so you have some , my naughty heart was still waiting for her to remove her mask.After the sexy lady had her part of torture done in my mouth , she finally removed her mask , and my heart just sang the song in slow motion “ lala-la-lala , lala-la-lala , la la , it’s the same song which runs in background when a bollywod hero and heroine runs and get closer and it ends with a kiss which is shown by mingling of two flowers.Chuck it.The song was cut short by the helpers mobile ringtone.Kill Him My heart said.Anyways I can not understand why such sexy , single . beautiful ladies do a job of getting into the stinking mouth of someone just for few bucks where when you have the capability of dating almost all the hunks of the town.

Well this was not enough of the sad feeling I had, The saddest part was the billing session. She pointed me to sit in front of her , Then she started filling out the form which I filled half with the receptionist[that thin tube like]. I was just looking into her beautiful face and was wondering how cute her kids would be.But when I got the bill my heart said “This was certainly one of the most expensive torture sessions I have ever experienced," But had to pay

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