Shells and Pebbles

Shells and Pebbles

Jayant was a cool guy, a typical Punjabi guy fresh out from the farms of Punjab into this magical, ever so romantic place called Infosys Mysore. It was January when he joined Infosys through off campus recruitment that happened in Delhi. He was so happy to get a job in his dream company. Jayant was a happy go lucky kind of guy, who would do anything for his friends but here he was, all alone, as all of his friends had been recruited on campus and were working somewhere else, so he was all alone here but happily single as well.

One fine day, he went in to Global Education Center (GEC) and, where he was usually late in getting to GEC, today he arrived early. It was 8:30 in the morning and he could see only one girl other than him in the class. He quietly takes his seats and starts the system. After a few seconds he could hear someone crying and alas, as he looks towards her, he confirms that she was the one who was crying. Now Jayant was a strong guy, there was no doubt that he had many lady friends but to console someone who is crying was not something he knew how to do. He was just sitting there, looking at her and wondering what to do and realizing that was all that he was doing, but even though he could not help, he also could not just do nothing. Feeling guilty was just a part of it because he was also unable to approach her. Then, when after 5 minutes he decides to talk to her, he had waited too long as someone else enters the class and… ...silence... it is her friend, so he stops again and now he can see Deepti consoling Amrita 

Amrita and Deepti were great friends as well as roommates from the very first day at Mysore. Jayant had a secret crush on Deepti but had never been able to tell to her. Deepti used to sit right in front of Jayant so they used to talk a lot about studies and all and Jayant liked her a lot.

It was a Sunday morning when Jayant went in to GEC to study for the generic compri ,when he faced the same situation. Again it was Amrita who was crying, but this time Jayant goes to Amrita and asks: "What happened Amrita, is everything all right"...she tearfully replied that she was ok and he need not bother about it. Jayant asks her again and again until eventually she tells him that she already has a very low CGPA and if she does not get a B+ , she will be out of Infosys. Now, even though Jayant was good with studies, he was also facing a tough time. It was three days to go before compri and they decided to study together all night for these three days. This made a huge turnaround as Deepti also joined them and so Jayant could talk to her even more and more.

On compri day they all had breakfast together and went for the examination. After the exam they all were happy but afraid of the result too. They all knew they had been allotted the same stream as java and that was not easy either.

After a few days Deepti, Jayant and Amrita were like buddies and spent most of their time together. One weekend Amrita calls Jayant and says that she would like to go out and have fun, before the result is announced, as her boyfriend Shiva would be joining her that weekend. Shiva used to work for LNT, which was near Infosys Mysore. So they all decided to go to Wonderla – a water park near Bangalore. They had lots of fun there and enjoyed lots of rides. Jayant was happy as he was enjoying it with Deepti because Amrita was busy with Shiva. Jayant wanted to express his love to Deepti but the right opportunity had not come along. So he calls up his best friend Vipin who knew everything about him , and asks him whether it was the right time to propose to Deepti as they were alone there. Vipin told him to “Go ahead dear!! What are you waiting for?” After all the rides were done, Amrita and Shiva were getting very close in the cab, which was in the parking lot, so Jayant and Deepti decided to take a walk. Jayant decides the time has come and asks Deepti: "Are you single? You never told me." Deepti smiles and says "arrey yaar yes I am."' Jayant takes one step forward, holds Deepti's hand and just says, simply "Deepti I love you"…"come on stop it Jayant"..."stop joking yaar "...."No Deepti. I am serious. I really love you a lot...from the very first day...from the very first moment I saw you, I have fallen in love with you..." ...."are u really serious jayant"..."yes I am "...."I cannot tell you how much I love you and I want to marry you Deepti""..."things are not so easy Jayant, as they might look to be" and then Silence slumbered in its futile sleep...

II

And that was it. They all returned that night, and Jayant and Deepti were both expectedly quite. Much later that night Jayant called Deepti on her hostel extension at 12 midnight and told her to meet him just outside FC3. She agreed, arriving at 1am in the morning. Then Jayant started again. “Come-on Deepti, please don’t keep quiet!! Say something , I know you love me , I have seen it in your eyes, please even if it’s a NO, just tell me“…”Please Jayant, my life is already so complex, please don’t make it more complex. We are very good friends, let us be friends only.” Deepti replied in a sad tone and started crying. Jayant bent down on his knees, held her hands and just said “Tell me what it is Deepti, just tell me everything, I love you and it will surely help, I promise to relieve your tensions and believe me I love you, just trust me darling, I love you,” and then he kissed Deepti's hand.

“Look , I had a boyfriend NITIN during my time at college, he was my senior and we were very close. After finishing his college, NITIN joined WIPRO, Pune and she was in tears again. Jayant just hugged her, saying “Just tell me baby, what happened did he change a lot after that?”…”He is no more mine, he has found someone else for himself, our families knew everything about our relationship and they had no problem with us getting married, we were neighbors at Pune. We shared the same school as well, I have never imagined my life without him. But he threw me out of his life in just 6 months after joining Wipro.

...and then she went on describing how beautiful the days had been that she had with NITIN. It was 3am when she suddenly stopped and said “Look, my life has been terrible since NITIN left and I do not want anyone else to do the same so, please Jayant let’s be JUST friends, my mother will find a nice Marathi guy for me and I will get married to him, I do not want any more complications in my life Jayant…Please understand Jayant” and she was in tears once again. Jayant was shocked to hear the whole story and he said: “Look Deepti, I love you and that’s enough for me, I don’t care about your past but I can promise you that I will keep on loving you until my last breath. Please Deepti, don’t worry about anything else ,I will take care of everything dear. I will love you a lot but tell me, why did you both break off after a long close relationship?”

“I don’t know Jayant, he found someone as soon as he got into WIPRO. Whenever I used to call him he would say ‘Listen, I have some work to do’ and he always gave excuses. Then slowly he stopped attending my calls, not answering my messages and mails. I was an emotional fool who would wait for days for his replies. Four months ago I called him and asked: ‘... why are you doing this to me? Please tell me , I at least deserve an answer...please’. His reply: ‘Ok… I’ll tell you the truth today, I am going around with someone else here and I do not see any future for our relationship,’ and that was when I decided not to call him again. It has been four months and I have not yet forgotten him, I burst into tears even now when I think of him.” Jayant, without hesitation, replied: “Don’t worry Deepti, I will love you so much that you will forget him. Deepti do you accept my love, just say you love me…please say it…I will always keep you happy.”

It was 6am in the morning outside FC, when Deepti said: “Can you tell me, Jayant, why should I love you after just four months of breaking off with NITIN , why should I get involved in a relationship when I already have a terrible past , why should I get into all this again, I have been hurt a lot and I don’t want to get hurt again, and I know I cannot love anyone else again.” “What are you saying Deepti, just trust me.” “Look Jayant, I need some time“...They talked till 7:30am outside FC when they suddenly realized that it was time to go and get ready for the class.
One month passed by and Amrita got to know about the feelings Jayant had for Deepti. Jayant and Amrita shared everything about their love life, whenever they had time .And suddenly they had the COMPRI result out and ALAS, Amrita flunked whereas Deepti and Jayant passed with A grades. That same day she received a letter from HR telling her to leave Infosys within two days. This was the most terrible day in their life. Anyway, they sat together and decided to stay in touch with each other .On Amrita’s last day at Infosys Mysore they decided to go out for dinner. On their return a romantic drizzle was falling and Amrita and Shiva were engaged in their love talks while on their  walk back to the campus from the nearby dhabaa. Jayant and Deepti were also joking and were talking about their time spent together...

BAM....whoops...accident! A speeding bike knocked Deepti, who was walking on the wrong side of the road. The biker and Deepti were both dadly injured and were rushed to Apollo hospital. The biker had to have some stitches in his head and Deepti’s left leg was fractured. It was 1:00am when Amrita had to leave the hospital as she was to leave for KOLKATTA that morning and there was a tearfull farewell from Jayant and Deepti. Deepti was discharged from hospital the next day with crutches for one whole week.

It was a very difficult time for Deepti as she had to manage both her studies and her health. The whole class could see Jayant helping Deepti to walk, eat, study and do everything he could to help her. This made them very close and yes it was love but was never put into words by Deepti. Both finished the training and it was the day when the posting was to come. This was a tough day for both of them as Jayant got a posting at Bangalore and Deepti at Pune, they wanted to be together but it did not happen. Anyway, they had to part ways from Mysore and go to their respective posting stations. It was Jayant who was to go first to Bangalore and at reception it was a lip lock between Deepti and Jayant, which was to end soon as they parted their ways.

Jayant was doing well at Bangalore , and Deepti was very happy at her hometown Pune. They both purchased Tata indicom mobile’s to chat for a long time. They used to talk day and night .One fine day Jayant calls Deepti and says: “I have one news for you”, and Deepti also said the same thing. “Ok Jayant, you first, tell me what happened.” “Deepti I got the SPOT award.” “Ayah baby, I am so happy for you, you deserve it my hero.” “Now tell me what you have got for me Deepti.” “Jayant, I met NITIN today...”and then Silence slumbered in its futile sleep..............
III

“What the hell are you saying, how can you meet him ,have you forgotten all the pain he has caused you?” “…don’t be so mean Jayant, I loved him, anyway we met today at some restaurant…” “…oh, does that mean that the meeting was preplanned !!!!!!!!!!! and you did not even tell me anything!: “Yes, after coming here to Pune I called him once and from there the mails started, we never again talked on the phone but yes we mailed each other a lot “Now that is disgusting Deepti .” “Don’t worry Jayant I am not going back to him.”

Then there came a point in time when every other day Deepti was telling Jayant that she had met with Nitin. This used to upset Jayant a lot but he knew his love was true and nobody could take Deepti away from him. Suddenly one day he got an email from his DM that he has to go ONSITE. That was a great achievement and he was very happy. He had to leave within 15 days. He told Deepti and both were very happy, he also told Deepti that before leaving he wanted to meet her and would be coming to PUNE as he would be ONSITE for the next year.

It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain that it made every day seem restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. They planned to meet at the railway station in the morning as in the evening he would leave for Chandigarh from the station to meet his parents. She arrived and was looking ever so beautiful, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, not wearing enough to keep her warm. He hugged her and they went to the nearby cafe, Jayant was all excited and he was the only one who was talking. Deepti was just filling up with some words and they did not realize how fast the time passed. At 5pm Jayant left Deepti at the station as he boarded JHELUM EXPRESS and as soon as he got into the train he called her up and said: “Babes, I love you ,I guess you wanted to say something but you did not, tell me what was it.”

“Nothing Jayant, it’s just that I will miss you a lot!!!!” “And who was that who dropped you at the station?” “NITIN, NITIN came here to drop me, I have called him to pick me up as well, you don’t worry dear, I am fine.” “...Ok Deepti, take care, I’ll call you soon.”.
Time passed by and Jayant completed six months at ONSITE and obviously the calls and emails frequency with Deepti was at its lowest as he was too busy with work. But they were in contact and as soon as he completed the year, he came back and landed at Chandigarh to meet his parents first. Jayant’s dad was very excited and happy but as he was an Ex-Army man he never showed his love to a great extent. It was the night before Jayant had to leave for Bangalore when his dad asked: “Jayant, as you already know, we all want you to get married.” “So, ya , dad I know.” “If you have someone in mind, tell us, or else we will find someone ourselves,” he laughs. “Dad!” “Hey son, don’t be shy, just tell me if there is someone.” “Yeah Dad, I love someone and I am not sure if she loves me or not but…” Dad interrupts, “Hmm, now you have a love story as well. So, what’s cooking han? Don’t tell me you are going to bring a FIRANGEE* in our house.” “Nah dad , she’s a colleague, and I love her and I want to marry her.” “Well, then express your love and I have no restrictions on whatever you find for yourself.” They hugged each other and .Jayant left the next morning.

As soon as he landed at Bangalore he called Deepti and said: “Hey babes, I am coming to Pune to meet you next weekend  I can’t resist anymore! I missed you a lot.”...”Hey, Jayant, it would not be possible next weekend for me to meet you, I am a little busy.” “WHAT? Deepti, come on, what’s so urgent.” “Look Jayant, things are not the same, I am too busy with work here.” “Come on Deepti , I am coming next week…and that’s it!” “Look Jayant, I don’t want to meet you, I don’t love you, please don’t run after me Jayant.” “…what are you saying Deepti! is NITIN back in your life? Just tell me…Please, tell me.” “NO Jayant, he is a friend of mine now, but please forget me Jayant. I wanted to tell you long back that I don’t want to see you anymore.” “No Deepti, please don’t do this, listen, I want to meet you, I know you love me and I am coming to meet you. No one can stop me...Deepti, I am coming to PUNE this Saturday...okay?” “Jayant please don’t come.” “I am coming and you are coming to meet me that’s IT!” Deepti disconnected the call.

Jayant did not call her the whole week but kept on texting her on the phone and got the same reply and same answer the whole week. As soon as he landed at Pune he called Deepti and said: “Babes, I am at the station. Just come and meet me, I am waiting at the same café and I’m dying to meet you.” “Ok, I will be there in an hour.”

But that one hour never ended, Jayant called Deepti’s number several times but she did not pick up the call. Jayant was very tense and decided to go to Deepti’s home but did not know the address. He had NITIN’s number though. He called NITIN and said: “Hey Nitin, this is Jayant, Deepti’s friend. I have come here to meet her, but she is not picking up the phone, do you know where she is?” “OH, Jayant!. Where are you?” “I am at the station.” “I will come and pick you up in 15 minutes.” “…but where is Deepti?” “I will tell you…”

Nitin came and took Jayant to a nearby hospital where Deepti had been admitted. Jayant rushed into the room and hugged Deepti and cried: “Tell me what happened Deepti, they were all in tears when Deepti broke the silence and said: “…18 months ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about it again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago... My stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain would go away, but it grew stronger until it reached a point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and he took an X-ray.

 The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide. But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially you, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth.

“So I made up some stories and lied to you. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke your heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years of feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to lose hair and you would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama will soon be over. Thirty minutes more and all this will come to an end, that was what I had in mind. and then…Silence slumbered in its futile sleep...

Deepti passed away the same day. Jayant was married through an arrangement the same year as did Nitin.






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