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Showing posts with label girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girl. Show all posts

Friday, March 23, 2012

Do you say no to a sexy , smiling , beautiful Girl !!!


Dentists.
It always brings back memories of pain and suffering. There are sounds of whizzing drills and moans of pain from patients in obvious agony. Mundane elevator music formed the accompaniment for a scene reminiscent of a horror film. But It was in Marathi with Bacardi music in background.”Kirpya darwaja band kara” That’s what I understood.

A bib was placed under my chin and I assumed it was intended to keep blood from ruining my clothes. She began to don all kinds of protective gear. Her hair was totally covered and she wore a mask and a complete face shield. She put on rubber gloves and seemed to be ready to begin. I tried to figure out if she was protecting herself or me. Perhaps she had some horrible disease that she didn't want me to catch. But I didn't think it was fair for her to be equipped as though she was going into space and all I had was a paper bib.” Come on I said I am not a rapist let me see your face”. But that was my heart that spoke."I'm not hurting you am I?" she mumbled from behind the face mask. Both of her hands were in my mouth so how did she expect me to answer? Why don't dentists work out some hand signals for the patient to use to respond? Like one finger for 'yes', two fingers for 'no' and the middle finger reserved for 'you are damned right you're hurting me'. And again she said open wide …wider..Wider. Do you really want to sit inside my mouth and have a water slide I thought.

After scraping and chiseling to remove the tartar buildup I was told to sit up to rinse. Getting up from the prone position in the chair is not an easy task.You get up and suddenly the bib and the cloth falls down which the helper picks up giving you a “*uck look”.Anyways , I was still looking at my socks which were stinking like I threw up after having vodka+pizza+beer+rum+French fries.I sheepishly smiled."I am going to brush your teeth to make them shining-white and today we are featuring grape-flavored paste." "Oh no," I thought. "I hate the flavor of grape." But I love Wine , so you have some , my naughty heart was still waiting for her to remove her mask.After the sexy lady had her part of torture done in my mouth , she finally removed her mask , and my heart just sang the song in slow motion “ lala-la-lala , lala-la-lala , la la , it’s the same song which runs in background when a bollywod hero and heroine runs and get closer and it ends with a kiss which is shown by mingling of two flowers.Chuck it.The song was cut short by the helpers mobile ringtone.Kill Him My heart said.Anyways I can not understand why such sexy , single . beautiful ladies do a job of getting into the stinking mouth of someone just for few bucks where when you have the capability of dating almost all the hunks of the town.

Well this was not enough of the sad feeling I had, The saddest part was the billing session. She pointed me to sit in front of her , Then she started filling out the form which I filled half with the receptionist[that thin tube like]. I was just looking into her beautiful face and was wondering how cute her kids would be.But when I got the bill my heart said “This was certainly one of the most expensive torture sessions I have ever experienced," But had to pay .
Do you say no to a sexy , smiling , beautiful Girl !!!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Much Mush Valentine Mush


Shunty :- So , how would you be spending Valentine’s Day .
Miggu :- F*** you , salle dukhdayi insaan , I am single .
Shunty :- But its a dream come true for me , I will be with her .
Miggu :- Can I ask you something , you loser ,are these affections tender, delicate creatures that can be turned on and off at will, on a random date of someone else’s dictation,” ....!
May be the LOVE FEELINGS are some kind of love spraying Dracula’s who only wake up on 14 feb,no really are they mushy things some kind of CRT which we can switch on 14 feb and switch off.
Perhaps these are those FM tuners we used to make in our ECE lab in college , wherein we used to make these tuners only the day before exams and now these tuners are used on 14feb.

Shunty :- you loser , you are saying this because you are single !
Miggu :- May be you are right ,but tell me why I choose this day to show my love even when I might be in worst condition of my life and I might have loose motions and take her(Hypothetical) to a costly restaurant and give her flowers .
Shunty :- Are you drunk a******.
Miggu:-First off, you must remember that I m not the only single person on the planet .Even I feel that I am an atheist on a Diwali but ...
Shunty :- Suc*** , Loser , look at your words you Mister Poet !
Miggu :- Gr r r r r!!! Unless Cupid(is it a flying pig ) strikes me in the heart with his little arrow between now and Sunday, I will be spending the day sobbing into my pillow and trying to figure out a way to kill myself with my toothbrush. (I'm scared of knives.) I wonder how long it would take to brush myself to death? Probably a long time, and I don't think I'm that patient.
Shunty :- Ya do that , that would be something ,crazy , you have gone mad, !
Miggu :- HAn han tu to yahi chahega main mar jau aur tu openly flirt kar sake.
Shunty :- Bhai , daaru piyega!
Miggu :- Teri ****************** , piyakkad laga rakha hia salle mereko !
Shunty :- The secret to all of this is to be happy wherever you're at. There are miserable singles. There are happy singles. There are couples who complete each other and who make each other happy. There are couples who create nothing but chaos and misery together. Wherever you're at in life, learn something from it. Well, maybe if you're in a chaotic and miserable couple, you may want to do something about that.
Miggu :- Sant baba 100X 100X Shunty cholewale dhongi baba ki jai !
Shunty :- Teri ******
Miggu :- waise i am happily single , I can drink , can flirt with as many girls as I want , will sms 100 girls the same sms ,and many will forward the same and reply the same sms which originated in the morning from my cell phone .It will fun.
Shunty :- Uthale bhagwan
Miggu :- Mush , Mush mUsh , mush is in the air .
Shunty :- Yaar what should i gift my Gf this valentine.
Miggu :- The best thing is you can gift me to her , I deserve her !
Miggu :- hello , hello , ...................

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Happy Women's Day